juxtaposition with seeds

i thought you were gone / stupid bird / darling worms shifting in the mud / this time i am not so certain / is it kinship or are you gloating? / have i grown bitter with the bees / how they bring the blooms reliably? / i could barely bear the beauty / of my lover when the sun pressed its fingers / into the doors of her pupils & so i surely cannot / bear to imagine her now that she is gone / yet my neighbor’s irises are in season & i remain alone / the warmth has returned to my skin like a familiar palm wrapped along my forearms / teasing ghosts / there is nothing romantic about any of this / the sparrows are dastard with their crooning / their beaks like scythes/ the vines relentless in their unraveling / over the brick that want only to be bare / one man’s beauty becomes another’s brutal architecture / no there is nothing / romantic about a crowded 5th avenue / how it pours eventually into Washington Square Park / elbows threatening to kiss one another / like ships in a swarmed harbor / Lillian Vernon married & knew best to keep her last name / & inside her once home i mourn & watch / the green do what i cannot / the petals of the daffodil grow & pull open & then they remain / despite time / despite the knives juking in the wind / just like that the landscape comes back / despite death / its place on the mantle & its victory in the distance / what was once still is granted motion / & again i am dark / with my envy as life unfolds / its arms & taunts / death with its favorite song / for now / lover / i am going to ruin you